The Disillusionment of Disappointment

After 4 months of ‘laying low’, today I forced myself to go back to the gym after completely overdoing it in the summer. It took mustering up all the willpower I have to sign up for tonight’s 5:30 p.m. boxing class.

To be honest, I adore the idea of doing these classes! It’s the mental image of having a feminine and unassuming demeanour (not to mention a tight + toned bod) whilst knowing that I could completely ‘hold my own’ if it ever came down to it!

There’s a certain thrill to being underestimated… but 30 minutes into the class, the thrill receded. My punches had the comparative strength of a cushion delicately falling off the couch and landing on the floor and by this stage I could no longer lift my arms higher than my chest!

It’s at this point that the PT calls out a new set; “left jab, left jab, right jab, left hook, right hook, left upper-cut, reset!!” I replied hastily that I don’t have the coordination for all that!?

 What he said next lingered with me for the rest of the night. He said, “It’ll grow”.

I don’t know if it is a female trait, human trait or my Dutch heritage coming out but I often expect that I should have a certain degree of excellence in accomplishing anything I take on; be it a boxing class that I haven’t attended in 4 months, a new job or even something petty like putting curls in my hair. When I don’t do a good job of it I’ll either be quite harsh on myself or never attempt the thing again!

I know how ridiculous this sounds, but let’s be real: how many times do we avoid an opportunity to learn because we won’t be good at it for a good while! We won’t let it grow at the risk of being a bit ‘uncoordinated’ and amateur for several months.

Have you ever wanted to get singing lessons, learn how to play guitar or cook that really technical Masterchef dessert, but never managed to get around to it? It’s probably because deep down inside you know, you are almost guaranteed to fail a few times before you get good at it, and let’s face it - we don’t like to do that to ourselves!!

I could use this platform to tell you to book that singing lesson or whip out that whisk, but I think more importantly we should consider if this fear of disappointment ever causes us to miss out on an opportunities with God – knowing we would probably make a few mistakes along the way?

Take reading our Bibles as an example. We get on a roll, love studying them day and night and then oops! Life got busy and we fell out of the routine! If you’re like me, you end up getting so disappointed with yourself for missing this time in God’s Word that you then avoid picking up your Bible for another 2 weeks until you can talk yourself back into it (often all unconsciously).

Proverbs 24:16 says for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again.

That is our assurance in Christ, so why do we still fear the falls? We know God’s love is not circumstantial towards us.

But do we act in this knowledge – believing who we are right now This very minute with our every idiosyncrasies and shortcomings in God’s full view has been deemed as worthy of love and grace from He who is above all things?!

I believe coming to accept and truly believe this is the key to becoming overjoyed by His grace, not ashamed of our need for it.

2 Corinthians 12: 9 says God’s grace is sufficient for us!

Let’s be women who aren’t afraid of falls, rather overflowing with gratitude for God’s goodness that lets us get up, shake off the dust and try again without any guilt, shame or disappointment hanging over us! Let’s stand our ground and make sure the disillusionment of disappointment never robs us of time with our God or of the purpose and plans He has for us. In Him we have nothing to fear.

 

Brittany Auckett

Brittany has been a consistent server at C3 Oxford Falls since her initial arrival at the church over 10 years ago. Her heart is for people to know Christ deeply, and chase His heart with the same fervency.

In her downtime Brittany can usually be found exploring the coastlines of remote beaches on the outskirts of Sydney - taking every opportunity to see something new.