When Life Doesn't Fight Fair

I can remember it like it was yesterday, I was standing in my kitchen making tea and my mum was standing next to me. My mum said that she needed to tell me something and before I knew it, my whole life had shifted. “They found METs on your dad’s lungs. They’re pretty sure it’s cancer. It’s not good.”

We’re not a family that beats around the bush when it comes to health. The first question I asked was “How long do they think he has?” “We don’t know, but they’ve caught it pretty late.” I just stood there, frozen. For the longest moment, it felt like the whole world stopped. The next thing that I can remember is being face down on my kitchen floor, telling myself to breathe.

So how do you cope when life blindsides you? What do you do when you’re on the other side of life-changing news?

1. “God, I need You here. I need You now. I need You close.”

Prayer is instant communication. As soon as we ask him, he shows up (even when we don’t feel like He’s there). He is so attentive to us! I love that God doesn’t ask us to pray perfect prayers. I love that all He asks for, is that we speak from our heart. God is good with our broken sentences, our words that we fumble over tears and our flat out silence.

One of the prayers that I used to say often – especially during the more intense moments, was; “God, I just need You here, I need You now, I need You close.” My heart was shattered but God is our perfect Father, the one who knows and meets our needs. Proactively getting into the place where you are looking to Him, it may not instantly fix the situation but it does keep you close to the One who keeps us close to himself.  

2. Don’t bring your brave face

This may seem counter-intuitive for some of you. It definitely was for me. One of the first things that one of my pastors told me was “Don’t bring your brave face”.

When we come before God, it’s crucial to remember that God is good with honesty. God is good with mess. He loves it and He loves us. When we’re honest with God (and ourselves) about where we’re at, then the cracks can let the light in. When we do real life with God there can be no discrimination about sharing with God what is truly unravelling in our hearts. When we push aside our emotional reality, it causes us more harm than good.

3. Kintsukuroi

This is a Japanese term that means - to repair with gold. It’s the art of repairing pottery with gold or silver lacquer, an understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken.

When my dad lost his battle with cancer, it seemed like there was this gaping chunk that had been taken from my life. I had no way of even beginning to fix it but I felt like I needed to fix it. This was never God’s intention for me.

God is our great Restorer and Master Potter. He doesn’t force or push unnecessarily but rather he waits for us. Once we let him in, He doesn’t try to fix the holes by making them seem like they never existed. He takes our cracks and broken pieces, puts them back in the right place and covers them in gold.

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About Lou Cregan

Lou is currently studying at C3 College.  She has been a member of C3 Church Blue Mountains for the last 5 years. Lou has a heart for serving the local church, missions and empowering young people to live their best life in Jesus. Her hobbies include photography, listening to music and spending time with family and friends.