The dream of children was always on my radar, even as a little girl.
My husband and I married quite young so waited a while before trying for children. Once we began trying to conceive the excitement was so great for me. The day I dreamed of would soon be here.
At this time, I had a vision of a girl, running, full of joy and she had long curly ringlets that were bouncing as she ran.
When the 'Women Dreaming' conference took place I purchased a 'Girl Dreamer' singlet for the girl in my vision.
Soon six months had passed and no baby. The months turned into years and with no medical explanation as to why we could not conceive, I could feel a battle raging over my dream. My prayers became desperate!
As many caring and loving people offered up reasons for and solutions to my situation I turned to Jesus and His promises.
I read in his word about how He is the dream giver, the dream fulfiller and how He wants to give us the desires of our hearts if we delight in Him. Deep within me a strong tenacious spirit grew and I absolutely refused to believe that God would give me a dream and then not fulfil His words to me.
There were some years where I just felt it wasn't going to be my year. Other years my hope would rise and and then be wearied by the close of the year.
At times the pain was so intense as many around me conceived so easily and some without even wanting to. I made a decision to take all that heartache and pain to Jesus. Many times, crawling on the floor in tears and agony.
At one stage I was admitted to hospital for tonsillitis. The only beds available were in the maternity ward. As I listened to all those little baby cries’ in the night, for some reason I was able to have a little laugh at the irony thinking 'well we are getting closer Lord but I did think I would have my baby beside me when I came here'.
After exactly 10 years (yes, 120 opportunities for heartbreak or faith), I was sitting in church on the last day of the year 2006. I was saying in my heart 'I cannot do this anymore Lord I need to move on it has just been too long, maybe I will go and study and start a new career'. His words to me were 'give an offering for the baby'. We had given into miracle offerings and many other offerings for 10 years. I had money I received for Christmas from a family member so I gave.
Four days later I discovered I was pregnant! Oh the joy!!! My faith was at an all-time high.
We chose not to find out the sex of the baby. In the delivery room I said to my husband "if it is a boy there is another to come'.
The joy at finally holding my baby boy is indescribable. He is amazing!
The Fulfillment 2
Two years later I fell pregnant but sadly I miscarried. I am looking forward to meeting my second miracle in heaven.
After another two years, now at age 45, I conceived again naturally and gave birth to a gorgeous baby girl. Fourteen years after my bouncing curls dream. I watched as she grew and those amazing curls began to develop. I often look into my children's eye's and am reminded of the journey of faith.
My daughter recently came out of her room wearing her 'Girl Dreaming' singlet with those bouncing curls cascading down her shoulders.
I looked at her and my heart swelled with joy at the AMAZING faithfulness of God!
Psalm 113: 9
‘He makes the barren woman to be a homemaker and a joyful mother of children.’
‘Not one of all the Lords good promises to the house of Israel failed; everyone was fulfilled.’
About Sallyann Haddow
Sallyann is wife to Paul and mother to two beautiful children aged 11 and 7. She has been a member of C3 Church for 30 years. Sallyann and her family are currently living in Singapore.